Mini Sirloin Burgers!

I effing love Jack in the Box's new Mini Sirloin Burgers ad campaign.  I love it so much that when the commercial where the lady asks Jack to sing the "Mini Sirloin Burgers" song comes on in the car, I turn up the radio and sing along.  I have the timing down perfectly, including the "ha!" at the end.  It's brilliant.

It turns out I'm not the only one who likes these commercials.  Yesterday, my sisters and I had a pool party.  Since the Lakers had their first playoff game, we had the TV on, too.  All of a sudden, Sis-T squeals and runs to the TV.  "I LOVE this commercial!" she shouts, causing me to look up, squeal too and join her.  

The two of us stood in front of the TV, in our bathing suits, dancing and singing to the Mini Sirloin Burgers song.  It's just so effing catchy.  And great.  Sis-T loves the "cows the size of schnauzers... but they're cattle."  Ha.  She would.

Of course, my first thought was "Isn't this offensive to Little People?"  (Okay, this was my second thought.  My first thought was, "I effing love this commercial and want to watch it over and over again).  I decided to do a little research in the form of a google search.  I searched "mini sirloin burgers jack in the box offensive?"  Here are some results:

• "The new Jack n' the Box commercial about mini sirloin burgers is offensive to little people and hilarious at the same time!"
  
• Jack-in-the-Box commercial thread on DISboards.com
• But here was the best: 

Which commercial is more offensive?

The jack in the box commercial with the mini sirloin burgers and singing midgets on miniature ponies, or the quiznoe's commercial where they insinuate that the guys, well... you know, is one foot long and he had sex with the oven.

Additional Details: Sorry, midgets isn't politically correct. I mean dwarves.

Because here's thing: the Quiznos commercial IS ridiculous!  RIDICULOUSLY FUNNY! (okay, and a little creepy)

PS, if you happen to like Jack in the Box commercials in general (I do), you may enjoy this.

Keep it down!

Do you know what really grinds my gears? Lame neighbors who ruin parties because you’re “being too loud.” Sadly, this has been happening to me a lot lately. I’m sure you’re thinking, “But J, why so sad? Doesn’t that mean you’re at some kick-ass parties and are therefore super cool for being such a socialite?” Not necessarily.

You see, my friends have some pretty lame neighbors. Take Barry over at Ocean Cottage. B-dog lives across the way from T&A and subscribes to the philosophy that any noise (or bright light for that matter) after 11pm is a public nuisance and warrants calling the cops. At first, I thought T&A were over exaggerating. Until one night, in the middle of a heated discussion about the Primary Elections, we hear a knock on the door. Like four RBPD were at the door ready to break up our “party” of four people sitting around a table discussing the merits of Sarah Palin (There are none, btw. She sucks). It was 11:05pm. Effing Barry. “Party” ruined.

I thought maybe B-dog over at OC was a special case until I headed over to an Easter Egg Decorating Party over at L’s at Playa Pacifica. First of all, this party was awesome. Who doesn’t love decorating Easter eggs? The marbleizing kit was my favorite, though I never got a chance to see the glow-in-the-dark paint in action. We ran into trouble during the Easter egg hunt later in the evening (at like, 10pm). At the tail end of the hunt, while half of us are standing in bushes and T is placing a plastic egg filled with quarters into the pool, SECURITY showed up. Security?! Are we in college?! (Don’t answer that, I can’t deal with the reality of my aging). I guess so, because we were told that we must “disband” the egg hunt and were then escorted back to L’s apartment. Like literally escorted; the security guard stood by the door while we filed back into L’s place. Then, 5 minutes later, he knocked on the door and told us to keep it down. He probably just wanted our jello-shots.

And how are things over at the Tiki? Funny you ask. Not that I’ve ever really tested this theory, but my guess is that the Tiki is pretty lax in the noise complaint area. This is based on the fact that 1) we don’t have security, only Tiki Gods… and you know Tiki Gods like to party and 2) a few months ago a gun went off in an apartment downstairs and the cops weren’t called for hours. Literally. A gun went off, SHOT THROUGH THE WALL into the apartment next door and the old woman, who was inside the apartment at the time, did not call the police for several hours. Based on that, I think it’s safe to say that the Tiki is clear of party ruiners. However, you may be risking your life by hanging out here (JK! Not about the gunshot. But other than that one little incident, the Tiki has been completely safe for us… and for the record, the person responsible for “The Shooting” was a rich kid from Palos Verdes).

I have a hot new boyfriend!

April fools, you guys! I don't have a hot new boyfriend at all (or even a regular boyfriend for that matter). You see, every year, on April 1st, we play pranks on each other and call it "April Fools Day." And we think we're hilarious for doing so. I just got you SO GOOD!!

But really, April Fools day is out of control. I woke up this morning to an email from my boss, "Major Announcement" in the subject line. The email started out strong with, "I'm moving to Japan" and got more and more ridiculous: "My ex-girlfriend is pregnant (It's a boy!)" and "I'm gay, that's why I have this sweet 'stache." The email ended with "Happy April Fools Day Foolios!!!! You totally got burned Hahahahaha and rsrsrsrsrsrs."

Are you kidding me?!

Here are some lessons learned from the "Major Announcement" email that should be applied to future April Fools Day jokes:

1) Keep it simple. This prank would have been strong if he had only mentioned going to Japan. The prankiness of this email was immediately clear when he started to mention his unborn son and his 'stache.

2) Don't grow a mustache. It's creepy. And especially don't post a picture of you with the 'stache.

3) No need to use the word, "Foolios." Ever.

4) Also, no need to remind people that they got burned by your prank. And then laugh in English and Portuguese (that's just weird/confusing). It may also lead to counter-pranks, which nobody really wants (Like last year, someone tried to pull the, "Did you like my 'I totally fell for your prank' prank?" I'm not even kidding). This puts people on edge which then leads to April Fools Day misunderstandings.

The biggest problem with April Fools Day is deciphering what is prank and what is reality. For example, last year, directly after my boss' "I'm getting married" prank, he announced that one of our labmates had been accepted into our derm residency program (which is kind of life-changing and a big deal). At first we all (including the guy who had been accepted) thought it was a joke until my boss clarified with the classic, "This shit is REAL!" Okay, he didn't say that. He probably said something lame like, "Seriously, this is not a joke, you really have been accepted into the program." Still, poor timing for the announcement, dude. Similarly, my roommate heard that she finally (after several months) had been hired for a super-serial job today. Her mom still thinks it's a hoax.

But even the mundane is at risk on April 1st. In the lab we wanted to eat out for lab meeting. When K returned with the bad news that we couldn't eat out, we all replied with, "April fools! We're going out!" Except he was serious. And we didn't even get free lunch with lab meeting.