Happy Holidays!

Happy Holidays, everyone! I hope you all have enjoyed your holiday season thus far... and are getting excited for the last hurrah: New Year's Eve. I, for one, am pumped because Sis-T and I are throwing our annual NYE bash at our parents' house (aaand, I'm 28 years old and still throwing parties at my parents' house. nbd).

Speaking of holiday parties, one thing that I think we all get a little too much of during this time of the year is schmoozing. For me, the worst schmooze-night of the entire year is my parents' Holiday Open House. For hours on end, my siblings and I are trapped making small talk with a bunch of people we vaguely know/care about. We smile, nod, tell stories of school/work/etc. Overall, I'd say we're pretty charming (See, mom! You're lucky to have such charming children who entertain your guests).

This year, amidst the schmoozing/charming, something pretty fantastic happened: Sis-E struck up a conversation with someone she thought was a somewhat distant relative. This conversation wasn't run-of-the-mill small talk; this small talk was aggressive. Like, "Are you ready to be a grandpa" and "We're so proud that your son has gotten his act together" aggressive. I'm happy to say, Sis-T and I observed the whole thing, entirely confused as to how Sis-E knew this guy so well (we didn't recognize him at all).

Honestly, I'm not even sure how it happened, but the conversation lasted for a solid 5-10 minutes. At which point, Sis-E leaned over to me and Sis-T and asked, "that's our relative, right?" Sis-T and I looked at each other, laughed, and shook our heads "No!!"

"OMG," Sis-E responded, "This is so embarrassing, I've got to get out of here now!" She darted to the other end of the room and quickly started up a conversation with some people she definitely knew.

Oh! Poor Sis-E! What an embarrassing mistake! But it's the holidays, and these types of mix-ups happen all the time at parties.

I wish I could say that's the end of this story, but it gets better. Later in the evening, our mom was talking to the same man (it turns out they went to high school together) and he commented on how he was super worried about his seventeen year-old son. Apparently, some drama had recently gone down on his son's facebook wall regarding a pregnancy and he had just talked to my sister who confirmed the whole thing!! Now, he has to worry about all the other stuff she had mentioned, as well! The poor man was so distraught that he and his wife left the party soon after.

It wasn't until later in the evening when our entire family was recapping highlights of the party that both sides of the story were revealed (and for those of you who are worried about the son, my mom emailed his father right away to assure him that it was all a mix-up and that his son has not knocked a girl up or is partying too hard). Best party-foul EVER!

Let this be a lesson to you all: before schmoozing too hard at a party, make sure you know exactly who it is you're talking to.

In Class: Best Class Ever

Today we had the BEST CLASS EVER (possible overstatement, but I feel pretty confident about this one).

The class was about old people and their risk of falling and what that can mean for them and us. Not only was there a physician, a physical therapist, and an occupational therapist (who goes by "The Magnificent"), there were 5 adorable seniors there to share their experiences with us. You guys, I'm mostly interested in working with younger patient populations (specifically pregnant ladies and their fetuses/babies... can't get much younger than that!), but I have to say it: old people can be pretty darn cute.

But the old people were only a small part of why today's class was the best ever. The real reason was that we had the lecture in Tamkin, the first year lecture hall. You see, in med school, we sit in lecture for hours at a time and rather than changing classrooms for each class/topic, we stay put and the lecturers come to us. The first years have all of their classes in Tamkin, while the MS2s "graduate" to Nelson (at first, I thought this was a downgrade, but now I'm not so sure).

As creatures of habit, people established where in the auditorium they sat early on during first year. Since I know you're wondering, I was a left-side front person (There's a lot of Left Side pride in our class; we even made up a dance during last year's retreat... and then got everyone to do it again at this year's retreat). Where you sit in lecture is serious business and if someone ever changed things up and sat in your spot, it could throw off your whole day (I remember this happened once and I literally just stood there blankly for a few minutes, unable to respond appropriately).

Anyway, for whatever reason, when our whole class returned to Tamkin today there was an air of total excitement/joy. Everyone went to their old seats for "old time's sake" and we were all really happy about it. Like kind of weirdly/pathetically happy about it. Is this what our lives have become? Are we so deprived of fun times that the highlight of our day/week/month is a return to last year's lecture hall and sitting in our old seats?

I don't know. Actually, I don't even really care. All I know is that today I showed up to class expecting an average lecture about the "Functional Status Exam." Instead I got a lecture about falling with cute old people, hilarious student demos on falling and taking your sweaty socks off, and a functional reach competition. This was all taught to me by The Magnificent while I basked in the glory of sitting in my MS1 seat. Like I said before, BEST CLASS EVER.

Romance! (or not)

Remember when LAMe! used to be super fun and I would blog about my exciting life as a single twenty-something?* I know, LAMe! has been a little lacking in the romance department lately. It's just that my life has been mostly romance-free (damn you, med school!) or I haven't wanted to write anything that could potentially be traced back to people you know (once again, damn you med school!).

Well you guys, you're in for a treat! Recently some events have taken place that are just too ridiculous for me not to blog about.

I guess I'll start at the beginning. I met this guy through my roommate and after a few (like a couple of months) friendly hang-out sessions, we went on a "date." The date went... well, it was kind of weird. First of all, we ate dinner at Chick-fil-A and HE DIDN'T PAY. Umm. Chick-fil-A?! And he didn't pay?! This threw me off a little, mostly because there was no possible way we weren't on a date and paying is pretty much part of my definition of a date. Like, if you're ever confused about if you accidently went on a date with someone, you think back to if he paid or not and there's your answer (this isn't always true, like if you're clearly with friends who happen to be guys and they pay, this does not mean you're on a date). Whatever, the Chick-fil-A situation was kind of a minor detail and I didn't really care, because it was pretty much hilarious to me. (You guys! Chick-fil-A!!!)

After dinner, the plan was to go up in the big orange balloon at the Orange County Great Park. This is actually a pretty cute date idea. Unfortunately, it was a Wednesday and the Great Park was closed (wah wah). Luckily, he was thinking on his feet and he said, "Since we couldn't go up in the balloon, I'm going to take you to the Top of the World instead." Totally cute. Oh, and for those of you not in the know, the Top of the World Park is in Laguna Beach and has beautiful panoramic views of both the coastline and Irvine. Oh, and it's a total make-out spot.

So there we were, taking in the views (it was a crystal clear night), gazing at the stars, and NOT MAKING OUT. After a lovely time at the Top of the World, we're heading down the hill back to Laguna when we see these crazy looking boats... so of course, we go to the beach. Where the waves are gently crashing and the stars are bright and we're still not making out. Later, we go back to his place where we continue to not make out.

That's cool. It's technically a first date. No need to rush into these things. Fine. I'll admit it: I'm pretty awkward and I'm not super touchy-feely and I pretty much never make the first move. But still! Here's a tip for all of you "shy guys" out there: if a girl is a super busy med student and she spends like 4 hours with you (the week before an exam) and you weren't "friends" before, she's probably into you and you can probably make a move without any risk of getting rejected. It's not a guarantee, but a pretty safe bet.

Even though the first date was kind of weird and we didn't make out, I still had a pretty good time. Naturally, we went on a second date. To Wahoo's. And he didn't pay for me. HA! This mostly made me laugh because my roommates and I had just spent a week making Chick-fil-A jokes and now we'll be able to add Wahoo's to the material. Then we made our was back out to the balloon and it was CLOSED AGAIN!! Again, this is hilarious (of course it was closed!!). And so, of course we didn't make out. We then went back to my place to watch CSI with my roommate and after she went to bed we hung out for like another hour on the couch... without making out. In his defense, he did say he "had a sore throat" and "didn't want to get me sick." Fair enough.

Up to this point, I was feeling so-so about the situation. I did have a good time with this guy. But is it in a romantic way or a "just-friends" way?

Which brings me to last night. Last night my roommate and I were supposed to go to see It's a Wonderful Life with him at the Lido Theater, which is the really cool "old-school" theater in Newport. My roommate came home like 10 minutes before we were supposed to leave and says, "Did he call you?! Because I was just hanging out with his ex-girlfriend and she invited herself to the movie and she's coming too!" WHAT?! So the four of us went to the movie and it was kind of awkward, but mostly because it felt like my roommate and I were crashing their date.

My interpretation of the "ex-girlfriend group date" is that it's a pretty clear sign that he's not that into me. Right? My roommate insists that he's told her he's interested. So, um. Is he just a total pussy (won't make the first move, let's his bitchy ex invite herself to the movies, etc)? Total confusion!

So here are my thoughts: Sorry, buddy. I'm pretty busy and don't have the time or energy to eat Chick-fil-A, not make out in really romantic places, and watch classic movies with you and your ex-girlfriend for hours on end (in any order/combination).

There you have it. I hope that this is enough romance to hold you guys over for a while. And to all of you potential suitors out there: no, I won't share the details of our dates with all of LAMe! Nation (HA!!!). Unless you act like a retard. Then I will.

*Okay, you probably don't, since that was a long time ago (before med school). If you have some time to kill, here are some classics: Elite Status!!, check all that apply, and How to pick up boys (this can barely be considered "classic," but it has some great tips on how to pick up boys, so I included it).

In Class: Flushing

Hi friends. It has recently been brought to my attention that we have a serious problem on campus: the toilets in the Medical Education Building do not flush very well. Well, to be honest, they barely flush at all. Every time I go into the bathroom, there are remnants of toilet paper (and more!) left behind, floating in the bowl.

My favorite part of this whole issue is that Med Ed is a brand new building and pretty high-tech (I'm pretty sure the entire building is wired to record our every move... and we could probably do telemedicine from the restrooms - just don't expect us to flush). But seriously. The toilets even have two separate buttons for "efficient" flushing: one for "number 1" and another for "number 2." I think it's an attempt to go green or something. Great thinking, Med Ed Building Designers! If only the toilets could flush all of their contents in the first place.

Another great feature is that the toilets usually flush for you (making the button choices obsolete). But how do they know if it's number 1 or 2?! One of my classmates suggested that it's based on the time you're sitting on the toilet. Maybe. But this was countered by the fact that girls really don't take that long to poop (we, unlike boys, come to the toilet ready to go, do our business, and are gone... no need to make an event of it). Again, Designers, clever thinking... if the flushes got the job done!

The real root of the problem seems to be the flushing power of the toilets. It doesn't matter if you press number 1 or number 2, or if the sensor guesses what's gone down based on the time you've sat on the toilet. If the toilets don't have enough flushing power, they're never going to flush everything away and we'll forever be stuck with a gross reminder of Med Ed's toilet technology failure.

So where do we go from here? Will we ever see the day where the Med Ed toilets flush completely? I propose we make a survey on how to improve the toilet flushing situation and then discuss its results at Dean's Hour. Who's with me?