USMLE: Qbank FAIL

I'm just going to say it: when my Kaplan Qbank freezes in the middle of a set of questions, I get a little frustrated.

Okay, maybe more than a little frustrated. I mean, maybe I lose my cool a little when the page still won't load after refreshing/exiting and reentering in and out of Qbank for like 10 minutes.

Or maybe, just maybe, I COMPLETELY LOSE MY SHIT because this is UNACCEPTABLE AND A TOTAL WASTE OF MY TIME.

Maybe I'm a little stressed?

From FPG to OPG

One sad thing about my move to Seal Beach is that I have to quit Fancy Pants Gym (FPG). I actually really love it there, but really, it's just too far away now (oh, and I finally got the memo that I'm not fancy enough).

As an alternative, I've joined a new gym which is like the most basic gym ever (so, umm... the opposite of FPG), but it's cheap and gets the job done (plus, I've joined a separate yoga studio to cover my yoga needs). The new gym is right by Leisure World, a giant retirement community, and so it is chock-full of old people! Which is weird. And cute. And weird.

I know. This is hilarious because I'm old. And now I go to Old Person Gym (OPG). Just keep the jokes coming. I can handle it (or maybe I'll just turn off my hearing aid?).

Anyway, something adorable happened at OPG this morning. I was working out on the elliptical, watching Good Morning America when they started a piece on the Official 2012 Calendar of Heroes: FDNY Firefighters. Out of nowhere, there were old ladies on the ellipticals next to me frantically trying to get their headphones plugged in. Every screen in OPG had been turned to the hot firefighters! As soon as the segment was over, they turned back to their books. One lady even got off the elliptical. So cute.

USMLE: Qbank

OMG, we've been done with Kaplan for 3 days! I miss you all SO MUCH.

Okay... maybe not that much. BUT, I am starting to get a little lonely in my studying solitude. Luckily, I'm able to FaceTime and video/gchat with people and that keeps me connected. Still, my human interaction is pretty limited. I'm pretty sure I've officially become the "weird stressed out med student" neighbor. And I've also been wearing the same outfit (more or less) for the past 3 days (so, if anything, the Kaplan course kept me groomed. Good thing that's over).

Other than my gross hygiene habits, I don't have much to report. Oh! I know! I studied at my counter today, instead of at my desk! Just to keep things sassy. (Oh. My. God. My life is pathetic).

One thing that's kinda funny: I've noticed that I get a little too into the Qbank vignettes as I'm reading them. Like, I verbally react to stories as they progress. For example, most vignettes start out with the presenting symptom or a description of the patient. If the patient is an alcoholic (and there are a lot of alcoholics on the USMLE), I say, outloud, "Here we go." As the stories progress, so do my reactions. The patient has ptosis? "Uh oh." He was bit by a tick? "Oh god." If the patient dies, then I lose it (Okay, no I don't. But I'll usually gasp with "oh no!").

You guys, I'm like really invested in these vignettes! Don't worry, it's not really wasting time or distracting me too much... it's more like this kind of ridiculous/hilarious thing I find myself doing as I'm going through the questions. Am I the only one? I think I might have to tone it down for exam day.

I also have become obsessed with highlighted stuff on the computer. Not so much while I'm doing the actual practice questions, but as I'm reading the explanations. Now, I find myself highlighting interesting/important facts on other websites with my mouse... and then I'm disappointed when the text doesn't turn yellow. That's weird, right?

USMLE: In Class

As our Kaplan course draws to a close (to which I simultaneously think "YES! I can't take it anymore" and "NO! That means my exam is just around the corner and I'm screwed), I'd like to reflect on some of my favorite things that happen in class.

By far the best/most entertaining thing that happens in class is when someone's book falls off of the mini fold-out desks we write on. This usually happens about once an hour. Honestly, it's been happening all year, and it is still funny. At this point, I'm so tired in class that I actually laugh out loud when it happens. It's particularly funny when a friend does it. I can barely contain myself when A does it.

Also funny is when someone drops anything - a waterbottle, pens/highlighters, a whole notebook/stack of books (this is the motherload). Last year, I used to love it when people (mostly A) would knock over their water bottles and it would clang and disrupt class (and I'm sure many of us remember when C spilled an entire water bottle that caused a total commotion as water spread across the entire floor of Tamkin).

Less funny is when R spills his coffee all over me and claims, "What did you do?!"

After 2 years of sitting in lecture with the same people, you begin to notice different mannerisms. One classmate has a very heavy step as he/she walks down the awkwardly spaced steps of Nelson. Another person wears a charm that tinkles (heehee, I just wrote "tinkles"...I'm 10 years old) as she walks in. It took me a little while to distinguish this sound from the jingle of R's dog collar (because, yes, sometimes people bring dogs to class). Some people arrive almost exactly 8 minutes late every day and then sit in the front row. Other people chatter annoyingly throughout class (okay, that's me and A... sorry guys! But it's all relevant!! (no, it's not.)).

Hmm... what else? Oh, I love it when cell phones ring. Mostly because it's always kind of a mystery as to how those people even got reception in the first place (it turns out Nelson is like the one place where AT&T actually works). The BEST was when R's phone started playing the Sexy Sax Man Video at the loudest possible volume imaginable (I didn't even know that iPhones could even play at such a loud volume... it was amazing... and he was sitting right next to me when it happened).

Am I missing anything? Feel free to add your favorites in the comments.

USMLE: Working on Our Fitness

Every day we get out of our Kaplan class at like 4 or 5 and go straight to the gym. I love this because it is so stereotypically overachieving med student-y. It's like, "We just sat in class for 8-9 hours and we have a bunch of studying to do afterwards, but we care about our health (and we don't want to get fat)."

Pretty much the entire Kaplan class goes to they gym. Not some of us. Like all of us (okay fine, like 1/2 of us... that's still a lot!). I don't even usually go the UCI gym (called the Anteater Recreation Center or ARC, which I love) and I've been going. It's just such a scene!

It's kind of great because everyone is in a pretty good mood. Like we're suddenly super happy to see each other. As if we hadn't spent the entire day sitting in lecture, standing in the sun during breaks, or eating lunch together. It's like none of us really saw the Post-Kaplan Gym Rush (PKGR) coming and it's such a pleasant surprise that we're all working out together. And it happens every day (well, I can only vouch for days that I go to Fancy Pants Gym for yoga... but I'm pretty sure it happens every day).

We pretty much storm the ARC. Suddenly, all of the machines are being used by med students. Some people study while working out (D), while others (A and myself) harass our classmates from our elliptical machines. Other people make rounds and show off their big muscles (R and J). It's total social hour!

I've been getting super strong, mostly because I do pushups with A. Together. At the same time. We've been recruiting other med students to join us... today our group was up to 5. We're so cool. See people, med students are so cool! We do awesome things like spend all day in class together and then go do synchronized pushups at the gym.

The other fun thing about the PKGR is that we run into our classmates that we haven't seen since school ended. Even though it has only been a few weeks, it feels like it has been months; we greet each other as if we're old friends reuniting after a long separation. Then the non-Kaplan people say something like "Whoa! It's weird to see so many med students here all at once. I don't really like it." And the Kaplan people are like, "Really? We spend all of our time together including changing in the locker room complaining about how we still can't poop."

It's awesome.

USMLE Step 1

Sorry if I've been a little MIA... I've started to crack down on studying for my USMLE Step 1 board exam. For those of you who don't hang out with med students all the time (luckies), this exam is kind of a big deal and pretty much determines the rest of our lives (not to be overdramatic).

Since studying for this exam is pretty much a thrill and I have a bunch of spare time, I'm going to (try to) start up a little USMLE series to document how awesome things are for me and my fellow MS2s. It'll be like my "In Class" posts only better because it's about studying for a big exam!! Total excitement!

Anyway, let's get to today's topic: pooping. Studying for this exam has messed up my pooping schedule and after asking around, I'm not alone.

Let me explain. I'm taking, along with maybe half of my med school class, a Kaplan "Intense Prep" course to prepare for the exam. This course is about 8 hours of lecture a day, every day (with a few half days and days off scattered here and there).

You may ask, how does this interfere with pooping? No time! No time to poop!!

Let me break it down a little more: Let's say 50 people are taking the course (sounds about right) and half of those are girls. Every hour, we get a 10 minute break and most people have to go to the bathroom. There are only 3 stalls in the girls' bathroom and so there is usually a line at every break... with only 10 minutes for everyone to go. Umm... nobody wants to poop with people waiting for you! Some people go to other buildings and restrooms, but break time is limited and there are a bunch of activities to do during that time (like stand in the sun and "talk" to people/stare like zombies). Also, you can't force these things just because it's "break time."

Plus, we're all stressed, which I'm pretty sure doesn't help (I love that I'm like a 1/2MD and I'm only "pretty sure" stress and pooping/not pooping may be correlated).

My favorite part of all this is that since starting the course and our intense studying, a bunch of us have gone out of our ways to make our lives as routine as possible. And yet, while we strive for regularity in our daily lives, our bodies will have none of it.