you lose.

Have you ever noticed that there are some arguments that you just can't win? I think the best example of this is: "I'm not that drunk." It doesn't matter how drunk you are (or aren't). As soon as that statement leaves your lips, there is no turning back. Especially when it comes to drinking. People start to bring up the denial factor or the impaired judgement factor: "You see, when you drink alcohol, your judgement is impaired and so even though you don't feel drunk or don't think you are, you really are." Sweet counter-argument. I had never heard anything like that about the effects of alcohol consumption. And you're right. I wouldn't have any idea of how intoxicated I am... You may as well give up instantly, because nobody will believe that you're "not that drunk" (I realized the futility of this argument during a run-in with a bouncer on the night of the infamous Sharkeez incident).

Another classic is: "I don't have a crush on that boy." Sure you don't. People love a good crush situation (especially if they were clever enough to spot this "crush" forming): "Yes, you do have a crush on that boy... you sooo like him." Once, this counter-argument was so strong that even I was convinced by the end! This was back in my barister days (whoops, I mean barista days) at the Coffee Bean. Every day this one cute boy would come in around 8:00 and once, when prodded by my fellow baristas, I made the mistake of saying I thought he was cute. Now, saying someone is cute is NOT the same as having a huge crush on them. But next thing I knew, I was a hot mess every time he came in. I would turn tomato red. I would fumble and spill piping hot coffee all over my hand. Once, I even gave him more money in change than he actually paid with. Maybe I did have a crush on this Coffee Bean boy. Or maybe, it was my coworkers in the background calling out, "you looove him" and making smooching noises every time he walked in.

But I think my favorite is -- and people, you really shouldn't ever say this unless you actually want people to believe the opposite of it -- but anyway, my favorite is: "We were not having butt sex." Are you kidding me?! Of course you were!! Once in college, I accidently walked in on two people hooking up (these things happen in college). As soon as I realized what I had walked in on, I bolted. The entire thing happened so quickly that I didn't even entirely notice what was going on. I was ready to wipe the entire thing from my memory when the couple approached me a little later.

Here's what went down:

Me: OMG I'm so sorry! The door was ajar and I really didn't know you were in there!

Couple: Oh no, don't worry about it. We thought you had class... and we should have locked the door or something.

Me: Oh well... I'll just pretend it didn't happen and move on.

Couple: Cool. But there was one thing. After you left, we realized that it may have looked like we were having butt sex when you walked in.

Me (thinking to myself, what?!): Oh. No, I didn't really see anything... it's fine, really.

Couple: Well, we just want to clarify. We WERE NOT having butt sex.

Me: Okay.

Couple: Like not at all. No butt sex here. None.

For the record, this thought had never crossed my mind. Never in a million years would I have come to that conclusion about the events of earlier that day. Until they said it. "We were not having butt sex" was all they had to say to convince me, beyond a doubt, that that was what was really going down on that fateful day.

Honest Abe

Is it weird that I'm obsessed with Abraham Lincoln?  I seriously can't get enough of him.  

For example, I was about to write a post about how I love all of those Beyonce "Single Ladies" videos, when I came across "Young Lincoln" on TV (South Park, the educational show I was watching beforehand had just ended).  Obviously I changed the channel immediately and since then my eyes have been glued to the TV.  Sorry, Beyonce.  Abe wins out (although I do love that SNL skit of "Single Ladies" with Justin Timberlake).

Okay, I can't take it any longer.  I need to give this show my full attention.

LAMe! LAMe! Goes mobile

Sooo I finally got my blackberry storm so now I can blog on the go! I know. You're all hoping for an exciting post now... Sadly, I've got nothing right now. Sorry.
Sent from my Verizon Wireless BlackBerry

Sent from my Verizon Wireless BlackBerry

HSM

Every year, my labmates and I venture into the Sequoia foothills for Lab Retreat. In an attempt to "bond" with each other, we spent most of the time eating, playing boggle, competing in sudoku tournaments, reading (and complaining about) the Twilight series, eating some more, and interpretive dancing to records from the 70's (you can't beat my "worm"/caterpillar dance moves to ABBA - I am a dancing queen!).

But there's really only one point to Lab Retreat and that is watching movies. Specifically, watching Oscar-nominated movies. Although we may all seem like science geeks, a couple of us are in relationships with Hollywood-types who donate screeners to the cause, giving us access to the year's big movies.

Well, usually this happens. This year, the only screeners we got were The Reader and Revolutionary Road. From this selection, you may think we're big Kate Winslet fans. We're not. Sure, I think she's a great actress. And I've always admired her "stand" against stick-thin Hollywood (which, btw, seems to be a lie, since she's pretty thin in both of these movies). But really, these were not my favorite films.

The real winners of this weekend were High School Musical and HSM 2. After a mix-up at Blockbuster, we also had Sunday School Musical. Of SSM, Emily Johnson of Arts Alliance America reports: "The movie is a strong inspirational tale that exemplifies good morals through exciting and catchy musical numbers." Sadly, we didn't watch this one.

Back to HSM. I've been wanting to watch this movie for years now. Once (okay, maybe twice), I actually looked for it at Blockbuster, but it was sold out (rats!). I even asked my 10 year-old cousin if she had a copy I could watch while baby-sitting (she had a copy, but had watched it so many times, she was over it. Foiled again!). When HSM 2 came out, I tried to avoid it, despite the repeated showings on the Disney Channel, in an attempt to watch the movies in order. I felt utter despair when HSM 3 came out. I was never going to be able watch these amazing made-for-TV films!!

Or so I thought until Lab Retreat 2009 came along. Luckily, my coworker, V, felt just as passionately about HSM and she took action, picking up the movies (along with SSM) before the retreat. YES!!! HSM was everything I could ever hope for! Little Troy and Gabriella were so cute as they defied the laws of high school and pursued their secret dreams of trying out for the winter musical (But how could this be? He's a jock and she's a science geek!! They're not members of the drama club! Shouldn't they stick to what they know?! My head is going to explode!). My boss' side comments of "Do her!" every time Troy and Gabriella almost kissed added to the charm of this fine film. In fact, HSM was so good that we actually turned off Revolutionary Road 30 minutes in and put on HSM 2. YES!!!!

And since you're all wondering, my favorite character is Ryan Evans. The way he stepped up and showed the baseball team that dancing is cool in HSM 2 was brilliant. And his skin is so clear and luminescent. Just like a vampire's... hmm... reminds me of another teen series...

A New Low

Today I've hit a new low. As I was pipetting away in the lab, T, our lab manager/mom came over and patted my tummy saying, "Your stomach is big today!" OMG. I know I've put on a "winter coat" over the past couple of months, but really? Has it gotten so bad?

I blame this on New Orleans. At the beginning of December, I went to New Orleans with some lab people for a Tropical Medicine conference. And we ate like obese people. And it was amazing. Until I got home. Now I have to deal with tummy pats from T and workouts that make me feel like a contestant on the biggest loser (aka fattest fatties).

Wow, this post is boring. Sorry - I can barely move from the food coma induced by my dinner at Chinese Buffet. Which, btw, had a full bucket of MSG (literally labeled "MSG") out on the buffet line. AMAZING. Of course I tasted some. Who doesn't love umami flavor?! In a vat. Labeled MSG.