White Coat Ceremony

The other day, my classmate, D, and I were lucky enough to give a welcome speech to the incoming MS1s at their White Coat Ceremony.  Here is a copy of our speech (with our notes included in brackets).  Enjoy!

Hi Class of 2016!  I’m D, AMSG Co-President.

And I’m J, 4^th year class Co-president.  On behalf of the class of 2013 and the rest of the student body, we’d like to congratulate you on starting medical school!  This is a huge accomplishment and it is an honor to share this moment with you and your family and friends. 

[pause]

J:  Aaand… That’s all we’ve got for you.  We’ve been kind of busy watching the Olympics, [coughs] learning medicine, and we didn’t get a chance to actually prepare a speech for you.  Sooo… good job guys!

[J&D give a thumbs up with cheesy smiles]

iPad torch

D: But really, the Olympic Fever, commonly found among medical students and diagnosed by the inability to focus on anything but the games of the 30^th Olympiad got us thinking about what a team effort medicine really is.

D: We can think of tonight as the Opening Ceremonies.  Sure, there’s no torch… unless… is there an app for that?  [J: holds up ipad with torch app… F YEAH!!!!] (Aside: Medical education in the digital age!)  But I’m pretty sure you all just paraded in front of us to receive your coats and we’ll have an awesome performance by the medleys to come. 

J: More important than the ceremony is what happened before the ceremony.  Like the Olympians in this year’s games, you have all worked hard to get here.  Years of school, hours of volunteering, and numerous research projects later, here you are.  You’ve made it.  And for that, you should be truly proud of yourselves.

[applause]

D: Don’t get too comfortable, though.  You still have your work cut out for you.  Luckily, the Admissions Office knows how to pick a great team.  Soon, you’ll have study groups formed and next thing you know, you’ll have made some of the closest friends of your life.  Look to your left, look to your right.  By the end of medical school, you will have made out with one of them.

[nailed it!]

J: But seriously, we already have 3 engagements within our class… so, just be careful when you pick your study group.

D: Every team has its uniform and for medicine it is the white coat.  In receiving your white coat today, you have taken your first true step towards becoming a doctor.  With wearing the white coat comes the responsibility to discover, teach, and heal.  And while your white coat’s short length conveys your humble position as a student, your patients may not know the difference and will turn to you for their care, regardless. 

Class of 2016 taking the Oath

J: Over the past three years, D and I have learned that 50% of medicine is looking the part (just kidding, Dean Clayman).  Here are some Do’s and Don’ts to help you avoid making rookie mistakes and so you can look like a pro on the wards, or at least at the Clinical Skills Center:

[for this section, why don’t we model the “DO” examples and get the medleys to come out for the DO NOT]

J: Let’s start with a big one that for some reason, people have a tough time grasping: Cleanliness .  Do: try and keep your coat clean.  Unfortunately this is the cleanest your coat will ever be for the next four years.  Try to wash and press your coat as often as you have time to do laundry.  Use bleach and hot water.  Stain remover is your friend.  

D: DO NOT: Walk around with dirt rings on your sleeves and coffee stains down your front.  Would you trust a doctor who smells like Pig Pen and looks like you’re guaranteed to catch 10 diseases from his coat?  Neither will your patients.  [med student approaches pt looking dirty and pt runs away in disgust]

D: Next up, Writing Utensils.  DO: Carry a couple pens and, perhaps, a hi-lighter.  You’ll look like a star when your resident needs a pen and you magically provide one before she even has a chance to ask.

J: DO NOT: Carry a 24-color crayola marker pack unless you’re using it to color every muscle of the upper extremity.   Not only will this weigh down your coat, you will feel like a fool when you bend down to examine a patient and your pens fall all over him.  [med student with a bunch of pens in coat bends over to examine a patient and dumps out contents of coat and scrambles to pick them up]

J: Definitely stock your pockets with those tools you’ve always wanted to use--your stethoscope, penlight, reflex hammer, surgilube (J&D: because you just never know).

D: But DO NOT go overboard.  You’ll find that the weight of all of these tools quickly adds up and we’ve heard of many med students acquiring back problems from lugging a 20+ pound coat around all day.  Plus, is that speculum really necessary on your psychiatry rotation? [med student walks out completely burdened with stuff… coat stuffed and awkwardly weighed down… hold’s up the speculum sheepishly]

D: It’s always helpful to carry a snack with you.  Granola bars are great because you can quickly gobble them on the run between seeing patients or going to meetings.

J: DO NOT: Make your coat a lunch buffet.  It’s just… gross. [maybe get in ‘n out boxes or something to put in the coat, med student sipping from a straw]

J: Finally, there’s flare.  Just like a gold medal, there’s nothing I love more than a good accessory.  Today, you received your first few items of flare: pins that represent your team – UCI SOM and our mission to “discover, teach, heal” and to include Humanism in medicine. 

D: DO NOT: get too over the top.  This is not Chili's and you are not Michael Phelps.  Plus, what is that boa?  [med students come out with various pieces of bling, medal, boa]

And with these tips, combined with the camaraderie and support of your classmates and faculty and staff here at UCI, you’ll be sure to find yourself atop the podium in just 4 years (or 7 if you’re an MD/PhD).   We are excited to welcome you to our team.

UCI chant?!

And now, we’d like to introduce the Medleys, UCI SOM’s talented singing group.  See.  We told you it was like the opening ceremonies ;)

LAMe! on tumblr

This is pretty much the last thing I should be doing right now, thanks to Step 2CK studying, but I made a tumblr!  It's mostly because my dad wanted pictures of my sweet sweet kitties.

I figured other people might want to see them, too (no, you probably don't).

Anyway, here is the link: sassyjax.tumblr.com

Enjoy!!

Creepy Aunty J

Snuggly Baby E

Lately I've been really into babies.  Not in a "my biological clock is ticking and I'm freaking out" kind of way (though it is, and I am... just a little), but in a "babies are pretty cute" kind of way (um, good thing I'm going into pediatrics!).

What doesn't help the situation is that a bunch of my friends are popping out babies (On purpose! Are we really that old?).  Now, every time I log onto facebook, I'm reminded of this fact due to a news feed filled with constant updates about how "Johnny keeps wetting his pants," and "Anyone know how to help colic?" and "OMG, look at all of these diaper covers, how cute!"  I mostly hate these updates (I don't care about Johnny's potty training progress).  But they do keep babies on my mind at all times (or at least whenever I check fb). 

Regardless of my feelings about babies and their fb presence, there is one kind of update I love: pictures.  I love it when my friends post pics of there cute (or even just so-so looking) babies.  Weirdly, I can't get enough of it.

Baby E being his usual cute self.

There's one baby in particular that I'm straight-up obsessed with: Baby E.  Baby E is possibly the cutest baby I have ever met (he's a little ginger, which may explain my affinity for him). His mother, H, posts pictures of him every day on instagram.  You guys, I LIVE for these pictures.  I literally check instagram several times throughout the day in hopes that she has posted another picture.  And when she finally posts one, I get so excited that I show it to everyone around me.  As if he were my own child.

The other day, I texted H to let her know that I'm creepily obsessed with her kid.  Her response was, "It's okay, so am I!" To which I responded, "Um, you're supposed to be - you made him! I'm just a creeper."  I must confess, I might have a little bit of a reason to be obsessed with Baby E; I helped him come out (I was there for his delivery and was lucky enough to help).  But there's a big difference between helping deliver a baby and actually making one and I think H should be a little more weirded out than she is (I'm quickly turning into "Creepy Aunty J"). 

When I have a little ginger baby of my own, I won't let creepy "aunties" ogle pictures of my adorable child.* 

*Who am I kidding?  Yes I will.  I already force people to look at pictures of my sweet, sweet cats (aaand, I've now sealed the deal on being "Creepy Aunty J").

How to date a doctor

This morning, I was casually perusing the internet* when I came across a super interesting/relevant/helpful article called "How to date a doctor."

WTF?!  This is ridiculous!  For those of you too lazy to read the whole thing (which is absurd, because it's like 50 words long), here are some highlights: 

"Impress your friends by dating a nice doctor. Explore the social side of medicine. Learn about saving lives and medical advances without spending years in medical school. Enter the medical social whirl and you may be surrounded by doctors for the rest of your life. Make your mother proud, and date a doctor."

Here are some issues I have with this:
1) Good luck finding a "nice doctor." (Also, that was bitchy and bitter of me.  Sorry).
2) The "social side of medicine" doesn't really exist.
3) "You may be surrounded by doctors for the rest of your life" = bleak, in a social context, at least.
4) "Make your mother proud..." Fine.  This one might be true.  To be honest, I think my mom would be happy if I dated anyone at this point.

Another good part: "Recognize that doctors are hot properties on the dating scene." Personally, I haven't noticed this yet.  Then again, I'm only 3/4 of a doctor.  Maybe in a year, I'll really be a "hot property."

This article piqued my interest and so I googled "How to date a doctor." About 49,300,000 results came up.  Awesome!  So I spent the rest of the afternoon reading each one.  Okay, no I didn't. But I did check out a couple others. I liked the 6 Step WikiHow, because it says under Warnings: "The people they interact with may be a little bit weird, get used to it." So true.

Finally, I found an article called 10 Reasons to Date a Doctor.  It is terrible.  Honestly, I'm not sure if any of those reasons are true.

Hey Internet, thanks for perpetuating stereotypes!!!  You are so, so creepy (and wrong) sometimes.

*Full disclosure: I was googling "most attractive medical specialties," followed by "most physically attractive medical specialties" (since that was what I really wanted to know), when this article came up.  Oh.  And I was at the hospital. Waiting to round. (In my defense, I had tried to read about acute renal injury first... and then got distracted... it's Sunday!).

Dirty Dancing: Country Nights

The best thing ever happened the other night.  Okay, "best thing ever" might be an exaggeration. Well, no... This could actually be the best thing ever. Definitely life changing.  Anyway, here's what happened: on my last night in Miami, I went to a country music dance club (obviously, are there any other types of club in Miami?!).

This 70+ year-old woman killed it all night

I think it all started as a joke. L's coworker had been talking up a "hick" bar and so we had all decided to put on out boots and plaid and go.  The first awesome thing about this bar is that it is about a half hour outside of Miami (of course). The next awesome thing is that the bar/club is called Round Up and it is painted as a barn complete with stables and horses painted on the side of it.  As we walked up, some drunk guys in cowboy boots stumbled out (it was 9pm). THEN, we saw the sign that is was Ladies Night and we would be drinking free all night.

OMG, you guys! This was going to be amazing!!! And so hilarious, right?!

We walked in to find a huge dance floor in the middle of the club with "fence"/seating around it in the style of a corral.  The country music was bumping and people were dancing.  Line dancing.  Line dancing, you guys!!!! And then the music changed and people paired off and did the cha-cha around the "corral!" That's right, I just said "cha-cha around the corral." Then, more line dancing! I didn't even know so many different line dances existed. 

This was a scene, you guys.  Like a huge country western dancing scene. The best part of the scene (if I had to choose just one thing), was the people. There were all types of people - young, old, fat skinny, black, white, Asian, Latino (okay, mostly white) - and they all had one thing in common: they effing killed at country western dancing. 

I honestly did not see this coming, but I think I've found my calling, and I'm pretty sure it's not medicine. I'm going to be a country western dancer, bitches! But seriously, I loved this scene so much. I honestly had no idea this world existed (or, more accurately, how effing awesome it is); I felt like Baby in Dirty Dancing when she stumbles upon the staff dance party (you know, because she "carried a watermelon") and discovers there is an entire world of super rad dancing out there. 

Baby carried a watermelon into the staff lounge and discovered some dirty dancing

The only problem with my new calling is that everyone was really good and somehow knew all the songs/dances. This actually blew my mind (continuously through the course of the night, since there are so many songs/dances out there). This makes joining in kinda hard because it's pretty obvious if you don't know the steps during a line dance. Especially if you're surrounded by professional country western dancers (okay, maybe they weren't all that good, but it definitely felt like it).

Don't worry guys, I still jumped right in and joined the dance.

Best. Night. Ever.

Happy 2012!