Excuses

I guess you could say I'm kind of an over-analyzer.

This is usually a good thing. For example before making a big purchase, I think to myself, "Do I really need this ____?" If the item of debate is an expensive pair of shoes, I might pass. However, if it's a pink and white striped OnePiece Jumpsuit special ordered from England, the answer is YES.

While it may be good for my wallet, I've recently realized that my tendency to over think everything may be getting in the way of my love life. Here's what happens: As soon as I think I might like somebody, I think about any consequences to pursuing it, and then find/make an excuse for why it shouldn't happen/wouldn't work. And then I wonder why I'm home alone reading Jane Eyre while I can hear my roommate having sex in the room across the hall.

You guys, I'm an excuse-maker!! Big time!! For kicks, here are my top 5 excuses for not making out with someone (and why they're dumb):

5. "We're in the same class... things could get weird." Okay, sure. In med school, we see a lot of each other and that could be awkward. But with time, these things pass (and really aren't that big of a deal).

4. "2 years ago, my friends got in a big fight over him/both hooked up with him." Actually, I think this is still a legit excuse.

3. "When he told my roommate he was interested, she responded with, 'She has too much dignity to hook up with you.' And then she told me." Right.

2. "I don't want to ruin the carpool." While this might sound ridiculous, I just need to say (in my defense) that this was a really good carpool. As in 110 North Carpool Lane through Downtown LA during morning rush hour good.

1. "I don't want to ruin the friendship." This is my most common excuse. And it's total bullshit. Chances are, I'm not that good of friends with the guy. And if we really are that close, our friendship will survive anyway.

So there you have it... here are my top excuses. What are yours?

Carpe Diem?

The other day, my friend announced to me that he is in love with a married woman. “What should I do?” He asked. “I love her. She’s perfect. And she’s completely unhappy in her marriage.”

My initial response was to stay away. I know this might be shocking, but I take the whole “marriage” concept pretty seriously and wrecking homes isn’t my thing.

“But life is too short and unpredictable,” my friend replied. “If I don’t make a move, I might regret it for the rest of my life.” (My friend also has a tendency towards the dramatic).

My friend claims that his dream girl in unhappy in her marriage. We’ve all been in those “friendships” where you spend a lot of time with someone who has a boyfriend/girlfriend/husband/wife/whatever. They never talk about their SO and/or if they do, it sounds negative or cold. After enough time, it’s easy to convince yourself (especially if you want to believe it) that they’re not happy. But does that mean you should do something about it?

I guess what I’m wondering is: Is it ever okay to pursue someone in a relationship? My gut says no (however, as I’ve thought about this, I’ve come to realize that I’m a bit of an excuse maker when it comes to romance… more on this later). Or is my friend right? Should we forget about social conventions and seize the day in the name of love?

Let me know what you think in the comments!