White Coat Ceremony

The other day, my classmate, D, and I were lucky enough to give a welcome speech to the incoming MS1s at their White Coat Ceremony.  Here is a copy of our speech (with our notes included in brackets).  Enjoy!

Hi Class of 2016!  I’m D, AMSG Co-President.

And I’m J, 4^th year class Co-president.  On behalf of the class of 2013 and the rest of the student body, we’d like to congratulate you on starting medical school!  This is a huge accomplishment and it is an honor to share this moment with you and your family and friends. 

[pause]

J:  Aaand… That’s all we’ve got for you.  We’ve been kind of busy watching the Olympics, [coughs] learning medicine, and we didn’t get a chance to actually prepare a speech for you.  Sooo… good job guys!

[J&D give a thumbs up with cheesy smiles]

iPad torch

D: But really, the Olympic Fever, commonly found among medical students and diagnosed by the inability to focus on anything but the games of the 30^th Olympiad got us thinking about what a team effort medicine really is.

D: We can think of tonight as the Opening Ceremonies.  Sure, there’s no torch… unless… is there an app for that?  [J: holds up ipad with torch app… F YEAH!!!!] (Aside: Medical education in the digital age!)  But I’m pretty sure you all just paraded in front of us to receive your coats and we’ll have an awesome performance by the medleys to come. 

J: More important than the ceremony is what happened before the ceremony.  Like the Olympians in this year’s games, you have all worked hard to get here.  Years of school, hours of volunteering, and numerous research projects later, here you are.  You’ve made it.  And for that, you should be truly proud of yourselves.

[applause]

D: Don’t get too comfortable, though.  You still have your work cut out for you.  Luckily, the Admissions Office knows how to pick a great team.  Soon, you’ll have study groups formed and next thing you know, you’ll have made some of the closest friends of your life.  Look to your left, look to your right.  By the end of medical school, you will have made out with one of them.

[nailed it!]

J: But seriously, we already have 3 engagements within our class… so, just be careful when you pick your study group.

D: Every team has its uniform and for medicine it is the white coat.  In receiving your white coat today, you have taken your first true step towards becoming a doctor.  With wearing the white coat comes the responsibility to discover, teach, and heal.  And while your white coat’s short length conveys your humble position as a student, your patients may not know the difference and will turn to you for their care, regardless. 

Class of 2016 taking the Oath

J: Over the past three years, D and I have learned that 50% of medicine is looking the part (just kidding, Dean Clayman).  Here are some Do’s and Don’ts to help you avoid making rookie mistakes and so you can look like a pro on the wards, or at least at the Clinical Skills Center:

[for this section, why don’t we model the “DO” examples and get the medleys to come out for the DO NOT]

J: Let’s start with a big one that for some reason, people have a tough time grasping: Cleanliness .  Do: try and keep your coat clean.  Unfortunately this is the cleanest your coat will ever be for the next four years.  Try to wash and press your coat as often as you have time to do laundry.  Use bleach and hot water.  Stain remover is your friend.  

D: DO NOT: Walk around with dirt rings on your sleeves and coffee stains down your front.  Would you trust a doctor who smells like Pig Pen and looks like you’re guaranteed to catch 10 diseases from his coat?  Neither will your patients.  [med student approaches pt looking dirty and pt runs away in disgust]

D: Next up, Writing Utensils.  DO: Carry a couple pens and, perhaps, a hi-lighter.  You’ll look like a star when your resident needs a pen and you magically provide one before she even has a chance to ask.

J: DO NOT: Carry a 24-color crayola marker pack unless you’re using it to color every muscle of the upper extremity.   Not only will this weigh down your coat, you will feel like a fool when you bend down to examine a patient and your pens fall all over him.  [med student with a bunch of pens in coat bends over to examine a patient and dumps out contents of coat and scrambles to pick them up]

J: Definitely stock your pockets with those tools you’ve always wanted to use--your stethoscope, penlight, reflex hammer, surgilube (J&D: because you just never know).

D: But DO NOT go overboard.  You’ll find that the weight of all of these tools quickly adds up and we’ve heard of many med students acquiring back problems from lugging a 20+ pound coat around all day.  Plus, is that speculum really necessary on your psychiatry rotation? [med student walks out completely burdened with stuff… coat stuffed and awkwardly weighed down… hold’s up the speculum sheepishly]

D: It’s always helpful to carry a snack with you.  Granola bars are great because you can quickly gobble them on the run between seeing patients or going to meetings.

J: DO NOT: Make your coat a lunch buffet.  It’s just… gross. [maybe get in ‘n out boxes or something to put in the coat, med student sipping from a straw]

J: Finally, there’s flare.  Just like a gold medal, there’s nothing I love more than a good accessory.  Today, you received your first few items of flare: pins that represent your team – UCI SOM and our mission to “discover, teach, heal” and to include Humanism in medicine. 

D: DO NOT: get too over the top.  This is not Chili's and you are not Michael Phelps.  Plus, what is that boa?  [med students come out with various pieces of bling, medal, boa]

And with these tips, combined with the camaraderie and support of your classmates and faculty and staff here at UCI, you’ll be sure to find yourself atop the podium in just 4 years (or 7 if you’re an MD/PhD).   We are excited to welcome you to our team.

UCI chant?!

And now, we’d like to introduce the Medleys, UCI SOM’s talented singing group.  See.  We told you it was like the opening ceremonies ;)

Pet Parent

As many of you know, I've recently become a pet parent; I adopted 2 (adorable) kittens in May. What some of you may not know is that I'm currently on my pediatrics rotation for medical school. The combination of having kitties and home and dealing with kiddos all day in the clinic or hospital has gotten me a little "peds crazy" (it's like an immersion program!). In other words, I find myself constantly comparing my kitties to human children.

Let's start with development. My first weeks of the pediatrics rotation were spent in a private clinic where I observed many Well Child Checks with many questions about development and milestones. At the time, my kittens were about 3 months old. In a 3 month-old child, we're not asking for a lot: socially, they may begin to develop a social smile or enjoy playing with other people and cry when playing stops; for language, they begin to babble or coo; for motor skills, they can raise their head and chest when lying on stomach.

When I first learned these milestones and then returned home to see my kittens racing around the house doing backflips I thought, are you kidding me?! My kittens dominate humans! You guys, my kittens are like hyperdeveloped!

Then, I looked online and it turns out that in "Cat Years" (if that even exists), a 3 month old cat is equal to a 4 year old kid. Developmentally, 4 year olds can do things like balance on one foot, catches a ball, and copies a cross. At 4 years of age, strangers should understand 100% of a child's speech. With this new information, I was crushed. My little babies are delayed! I mean, Lizzie doesn't even know how to meow yet - she really only makes a weird cooing sound (and she's now 4 months, which is like a 6 year old kid).

And then I remembered that I have cats. And not kids.


This isn't the only area of overlap. A couple of weeks ago, I had to take them in for their shots. Quick! What vaccinations do 3 month old kittens need? I (half) jokingly asked the nurse at the vet's office if I could get a yellow card to keep track of all their shots. She looked confused and then responded with "we'll send you a postcard."

I've also been concerned with Lizzie's growth; she's significantly smaller than her brother, Harry. Does anybody know of a good kitten growth chart? I really need to know if she's dropping curves. I mean, what if she has failure to thrive?! (I'm pretty sure she doesn't).

Okay, I obviously realize that there's a difference between cats and children. But I now more fully appreciate what parents are thinking or going through when they bring their child in for a Well Child Check or a Sick Visit or (heaven forbid) to the hospital. I understand the questions and concerns that they're feeling (or at least where those concerns are coming from).

I also understand that I'm officially a crazy cat lady.

Btw, I just googled "kitten growth chart" (which is a little embarrassing. Well, to be honest, this entire post is embarrassing) and found a website with milestones. According to that official source, which is "www.all-about-cute-kittens.com" (I'm not even kidding), by 12 weeks, neurological development reaches adult levels. If that's true, my cats might actually be delayed.

USMLE: Working on Our Fitness

Every day we get out of our Kaplan class at like 4 or 5 and go straight to the gym. I love this because it is so stereotypically overachieving med student-y. It's like, "We just sat in class for 8-9 hours and we have a bunch of studying to do afterwards, but we care about our health (and we don't want to get fat)."

Pretty much the entire Kaplan class goes to they gym. Not some of us. Like all of us (okay fine, like 1/2 of us... that's still a lot!). I don't even usually go the UCI gym (called the Anteater Recreation Center or ARC, which I love) and I've been going. It's just such a scene!

It's kind of great because everyone is in a pretty good mood. Like we're suddenly super happy to see each other. As if we hadn't spent the entire day sitting in lecture, standing in the sun during breaks, or eating lunch together. It's like none of us really saw the Post-Kaplan Gym Rush (PKGR) coming and it's such a pleasant surprise that we're all working out together. And it happens every day (well, I can only vouch for days that I go to Fancy Pants Gym for yoga... but I'm pretty sure it happens every day).

We pretty much storm the ARC. Suddenly, all of the machines are being used by med students. Some people study while working out (D), while others (A and myself) harass our classmates from our elliptical machines. Other people make rounds and show off their big muscles (R and J). It's total social hour!

I've been getting super strong, mostly because I do pushups with A. Together. At the same time. We've been recruiting other med students to join us... today our group was up to 5. We're so cool. See people, med students are so cool! We do awesome things like spend all day in class together and then go do synchronized pushups at the gym.

The other fun thing about the PKGR is that we run into our classmates that we haven't seen since school ended. Even though it has only been a few weeks, it feels like it has been months; we greet each other as if we're old friends reuniting after a long separation. Then the non-Kaplan people say something like "Whoa! It's weird to see so many med students here all at once. I don't really like it." And the Kaplan people are like, "Really? We spend all of our time together including changing in the locker room complaining about how we still can't poop."

It's awesome.

USMLE Step 1

Sorry if I've been a little MIA... I've started to crack down on studying for my USMLE Step 1 board exam. For those of you who don't hang out with med students all the time (luckies), this exam is kind of a big deal and pretty much determines the rest of our lives (not to be overdramatic).

Since studying for this exam is pretty much a thrill and I have a bunch of spare time, I'm going to (try to) start up a little USMLE series to document how awesome things are for me and my fellow MS2s. It'll be like my "In Class" posts only better because it's about studying for a big exam!! Total excitement!

Anyway, let's get to today's topic: pooping. Studying for this exam has messed up my pooping schedule and after asking around, I'm not alone.

Let me explain. I'm taking, along with maybe half of my med school class, a Kaplan "Intense Prep" course to prepare for the exam. This course is about 8 hours of lecture a day, every day (with a few half days and days off scattered here and there).

You may ask, how does this interfere with pooping? No time! No time to poop!!

Let me break it down a little more: Let's say 50 people are taking the course (sounds about right) and half of those are girls. Every hour, we get a 10 minute break and most people have to go to the bathroom. There are only 3 stalls in the girls' bathroom and so there is usually a line at every break... with only 10 minutes for everyone to go. Umm... nobody wants to poop with people waiting for you! Some people go to other buildings and restrooms, but break time is limited and there are a bunch of activities to do during that time (like stand in the sun and "talk" to people/stare like zombies). Also, you can't force these things just because it's "break time."

Plus, we're all stressed, which I'm pretty sure doesn't help (I love that I'm like a 1/2MD and I'm only "pretty sure" stress and pooping/not pooping may be correlated).

My favorite part of all this is that since starting the course and our intense studying, a bunch of us have gone out of our ways to make our lives as routine as possible. And yet, while we strive for regularity in our daily lives, our bodies will have none of it.

Important Message

I know. It's been a while. And I have SO MUCH to share with you guys (like how I moved to Seal Beach and I have a hot neighbor who only wears a shirt like 10% of the time). Seriously. More on this later (Maybe. That might actually be the whole story).

The thing is, I'm finishing up my second year of med school and I'm super swamped with studying. Like I've literally spent 12 hours studying today (this is taking out break time) and I'm probably going to squeeze in another 2 or 3 before heading off to sleep. LAME!! You guys, I've been studying so much that my muscles are actually cramping from inactivity (omg, DVT, anybody?!).

But that's not the reason why I'm writing this. I need to share something with you all: Ke$ha's new "Blow" video.



I saw a link to this video a few weeks ago on my favorite time-wasting blog, Go Fug Yourself and I thought it was pretty funny/great. I mean, it has unicorns. And James Van Der Beek. Little did I know that that was only the beginning of the awesomeness of this video.

You guys. This video has revolutionized this Ke$ha song for me. Honestly, I thought it was kind of annoying at first (okay, maybe it still is). But NOW! Now I imagine this video every time I hear the song (I've been doing a lot of commuting lately and I can only handle so much Goljan). And it is AMAZING.

Um. That's all. Gotta go look at some First Aid now.

In Class: Flushing

Hi friends. It has recently been brought to my attention that we have a serious problem on campus: the toilets in the Medical Education Building do not flush very well. Well, to be honest, they barely flush at all. Every time I go into the bathroom, there are remnants of toilet paper (and more!) left behind, floating in the bowl.

My favorite part of this whole issue is that Med Ed is a brand new building and pretty high-tech (I'm pretty sure the entire building is wired to record our every move... and we could probably do telemedicine from the restrooms - just don't expect us to flush). But seriously. The toilets even have two separate buttons for "efficient" flushing: one for "number 1" and another for "number 2." I think it's an attempt to go green or something. Great thinking, Med Ed Building Designers! If only the toilets could flush all of their contents in the first place.

Another great feature is that the toilets usually flush for you (making the button choices obsolete). But how do they know if it's number 1 or 2?! One of my classmates suggested that it's based on the time you're sitting on the toilet. Maybe. But this was countered by the fact that girls really don't take that long to poop (we, unlike boys, come to the toilet ready to go, do our business, and are gone... no need to make an event of it). Again, Designers, clever thinking... if the flushes got the job done!

The real root of the problem seems to be the flushing power of the toilets. It doesn't matter if you press number 1 or number 2, or if the sensor guesses what's gone down based on the time you've sat on the toilet. If the toilets don't have enough flushing power, they're never going to flush everything away and we'll forever be stuck with a gross reminder of Med Ed's toilet technology failure.

So where do we go from here? Will we ever see the day where the Med Ed toilets flush completely? I propose we make a survey on how to improve the toilet flushing situation and then discuss its results at Dean's Hour. Who's with me?

I Can Do Anything Good

So I know I should be studying for the big combined exam we have on Monday, but I just came across the MOST AMAZING THING I'VE EVER SEEN (possible overstatement).

After watching this video (twice in the last 5 minutes), I truly feel that I can do anything good... like pass my exam(s) on Monday.

Thanks to S for posting this!

In Class: Printing

You guys. I have to bitch about something: I effing hate printing stuff out for med school. And I have to do it daily. For no reason at all, it is the most stressful thing EVER.

Actually, that's a lie. There are plenty of reasons why it's stressful. First of all, there are only 3 working computers in the Medical Education Building where we do our printing. WTF?! So first off, you have to hope to get a computer to even start the printing process. Lame.

Once you finally go through like 4 windows on Internet Explorer (because for whatever reason, Merlin doesn't pop up first thing) and FINALLY print out the powerpoint/core notes/whatever, you have to walk out of the room to check the printer to see if everything came out okay. Usually, there's some form of drama like a paper jam or "the stapler is broken and everything has been canceled." Or my favorite from the other day: someone decided to print a 100+ page PDF cookbook that paused for 30 seconds between each page. Really?!

You can't even claim victory over the printing process once your stuff has come out. Well, first you have you find what you printed. You may think this would be easy since most things come with labeled cover pages, but it is still surprisingly difficult with the volume of printing going on in MedEd. Plus people steal stuff (A message to you, whoever you are: I will find you and hunt you down and you'll be sorry!! Okay, probably not, but still. It's not cool).

When FINALLY you get your printouts, there's always a chance of discovering a mistaken formatting error. Like accidently printing 1 slide per page of a 78 slide powerpoint presentation. Or worse: printing 24 slides per page (so, so tiny). Oh the agony you go through when this happens! You've come so far only to find that rather than a nice printout of a powerpoint presentation (I personally prefer 4 slides/page), you have papers covered with microscopic text about who knows what. Time to return to the computers to start the process again!

Oh, and usually, we're all crunched for time because this is all taking place during our 5 minute break between classes and we couldn't print before because the professor just posted his slides. TOTAL STRESS! Just the other day, I saw a classmate freak out in frustration, yelling and kicking at the printer. Like actually kicking the machine. To some, this may seem like the act of a stressed out med student, but honestly, anyone would snap if they had to deal with that printer on a daily basis. Or ever.

MS2

Okay everyone. I've been feeling some pressure to blog, which I totally get, since LAMe! is so awesome. But the thing is that my second year of med school (aka MS2) started last week. I think you all know what that means: My super sweet and exciting summer life has disappeared and now I'm back to my boring med student life.

Some of you (like all 3 of LAMe's followers) may remember that last year I experienced a little bit of writer's block as a result of MS1. This mostly had to do with the fact that all I ever thought about was school (boring) and boys (embarrassing). Umm... not that much has changed since last year.

So anyway, I need some help coming up with topics. Feel free to comment with requests or ideas and maybe this will help keep LAMe! alive during grueling MS2 (please!).

In case you need some help, I will provide examples of good, bad, and mediocre ideas for LAMe!

Good:

• MS2, KW, is awesome.
• S's lost pink waterbottle.
• Okay, so I can't really think of any right now (hence this post)

Mediocre:

• My new haircut
• Nelson Auditorium vs Tamkin Hall

Bad:

• Big Robbins vs Medium Robbins (even though this is such a hot topic)
• Preparing for USMLE Step 1

Okay, so I think (hope) you get the idea! Also, remember I love all things that have to do with dating and ridiculousness (though "Microbiology Made Ridiculously Simple" does not count as ridiculousness), but please be nice (we're not trying to ruin lives here).

So... umm... comment away!!

summer!!

Hey guys! I finally finished my first year of med school! Now I have lots of free time to do a bunch of really important things. Like... umm... I changed the background on LAMe! Here are some other things I've done in my first few days of summer:

• laundry
• g-chatted with non med-students
• watched Julie and Julia
• napped
• pulled my back doing laundry (not sure how this was even possible... and then I tried to figure out which muscles are the culprit but this thinking was too strenuous for my fresh-into-summer mind)
• slept in

Okay fine. I'm a little bored. Already.

And fine... I'm kind of a liar. Here are some other (slightly more exciting things) I've done since school ended on Friday:

• attended a mustache party
• went to the beach (and got a sweet tan! oh wait, no.)
• hung out with the fam
• watched Jerseylicious with my friends from home (this was good, but sadly no table flipping... yet)

But really. I am a little bored. I guess I just don't know what to do with all of this free time. I have one more week of excitement/relaxation and then I'm off to Honduras for a month-long Medical Spanish program. yay!!

News Alert: "How to Date a Med Student"

In case I haven't written enough about med school and dating, it looks like Fox News has jumped on the bandwagon with "How to Date a Med Student."

Sadly, I can identify with most (all) of these...

Also, which is a more reliable news source: LAMe! or Fox News?

Baby!!

Yesterday, something amazing happened: I had a baby! Wait. No. My UTEACH Mom had her baby!! Since February, I've been participating in a program called UTEACH, where I was paired with a pregnant woman and followed her to all of her doctor's appointments leading up to her delivery. Yesterday morning, I got the big call (okay, text) saying that she was in labor. Here are some highlights from the big day:

• When I got to L&D, the first thing my UTEACH Mom said to me was, "I got an epidural! I can't feel my legs!" At this point, she was only dilated 1cm and was having slightly irregular contractions (she had come into the hospital because her water broke at about 4am. They didn't call me until 9:30am... I'm glad they let me sleep in a bit).

• I spent about 4 hours just chilling in the laboring room with my UTEACH Mom, her mom, her step-mom, and her husband. Just the 5 of us... chilling.... for 4 hours. I had met her mom and husband and a few times at various doctor's visits, so at that point, I felt like part of the family! While we waited, the moms talked about their experiences with childbirth. It was probably one of the most feminine conversations I've ever been a part of.

• My UTEACH Mom and her husband had made various mixes of music to play for the big event. The mixes ranged from pop music, which played during parts of the labor, to soothing relaxation/spa music, for the delivery. They played it from their ipad (so cutting edge!).

• I love how being in labor is pretty much the only time you can order people around to help you and it is entirely acceptable. There were plenty of demands of "more ice!" (she could only eat ice chips), "rub my hand/back/belly!" "be quiet!" "change the music!" "Get this baby out!" from my UTEACH Mom. Overall, she was doing great, though.

• After hanging out for like 4 hours, I talked to the Residents (who were pretty much awesome) and they told me it was going to be a while until she went into active labor (the "pushing" part), since she's a first-time mom. "What's a while?" I asked. "Like tomorrow," they said, "We'll call you when she goes into active labor." So I went home. Like 20 minutes after getting home, I get a call from the hospital: "We're so sorry! We just checked and she's fully dilated! We were totally surprised! You should probably come back soon." So I drove back to the hospital.

• By the time I got back to the hospital, my UTEACH Mom was already pushing during her contractions. I'm pretty sure we were all pushing and breathing with her the whole time. The phrase: "Cleansing breath in and push 2, 3, 4... 10" became very familiar. To help her push, we would hold her legs or push against them. Watching a labor/delivery is difficult because you feel so helpless. For the most part, all we could do was help her breathe and cheer her on (at this point, we're almost beyond the "making her comfortable" phase). Many words of encouragement were given throughout: "Great pushing!" "Amazing job!" "You're so close!" "You're doing fantastic!"

• From my position (I was a leg holder), I had a perfect view of the baby making his way out. The last few contractions before the big moment were agonizing; we could all see the baby's head and so badly wanted to help get him out. When the time finally came, it was truly amazing. Suddenly, there was a baby! Relief and excitement filled the room. Honestly, I was entirely overcome with emotion (luckily, I held it together and though my eyes teared up a bit, no tears were actually shed). I can't even fully describe why. Seeing a new life emerge from his mother and begin was overwhelming and amazing.

• My UTEACH Mom's husband (my UTEACH Husband?) was such a trooper. But I think the final push sent him over the edge. As soon as the baby was out, he was like, "I've gotta get some fresh air" and left the room. I think he almost fainted! No wonder guys don't have babies; I don't think they can hang.

• One of the residents was beaming at me throughout the entire delivery. It's probably exciting and fun to share such "first-time" experiences with medical students. To be able to share, first-hand, why they love their jobs. Very inspiring.

• After the baby has come out, while they're still delivering the placenta, there was an odd, quiet moment. The baby had been swept away by NICU (he ended up totally healthy), the husband was catching his breath, the mom's were playing paparazzi with the baby, and my UTEACH Mom was kind of left alone on her bed. It went from everyone around her to nobody (except for the doctors delivering her placenta and getting everything in order) almost instantly. I was glad I was there to comfort her so that she didn't have to be alone, waiting for her baby (she hadn't even seen the little guy yet).

• Another great moment (I almost lost it again) was when mother and son met face-to-face for the first time. She let out a combination of a squeal of excitement mixed with a cry of relief as she held her baby for the first time. And then, "OMG, I can't believe this came out of me!!!" Classic. (I was thinking the same thing).

Overall, this was an amazing experience. To be able to follow a pregnancy all the way to the end was very special and rewarding. I also learned that 1) it would be pretty rad to deliver babies as your job and 2) I could probably have a baby, too (childbirth has been a major fear of mine for a really long time... but after seeing my UTEACH Mom get through it, I know I could too... not that this is happening anytime soon).

*Also, for the record, the pic above is of a random baby and not my UTEACH baby.

Nerd Alert!

The other day, my sister said to me: "Wow, med school has made you an even bigger dork than I thought possible."

WHAT?! Me? A dork? Nooo....

I mean, there might be a couple of things that I do that are kinda dorky (I guess).

But, who doesn't like wearing tie-dyed shirts with 10 cute kitties on them?!

And wearing Sketchers Shape-ups helps me tone my legs while I walk around campus (and imagine how great they'll be in the hospital during 3rd and 4th year... I see all the nurses wearing them now). Plus, I think they're funny.

As for wearing Thai Fisherman pants, those things are comfortable! Perfect for studying in.

Everyone likes a good science/medicine/anatomy reference thrown into a normal conversation. Especially non-science people. For example, I spent like 10 minutes on the phone with my Sis-T the other day explaining the Babinksi Reflex... and trying to get her to test her own. She pretty much loved this.

Meowing is totally normal. I know like dozens of people who do this.

Okay, fine. I'll give her the whole redhead thing. It is very true that the majority of gingers are fairly dorky. But I've had my red hair long before med school. So, really, if that's the measure of how dorky you are, I've been a big dork for years. Maybe med school is just enhancing it...

I'm an a**hole doctor.

Whoa! Whoa! Calm down, people! We all know that I’m not a doctor… yet. But, be warned now: there’s a good chance that when I do become one, I may also become kind of a jerk (as in, I could become a doctor who acts like an asshole, as opposed to a doctor who specializes in working with the anus).

Have you ever met a physician who acts like he is the most important person in the world and anyone/thing that may inconvenience or waste his time is the scum of the earth? Okay, that may be a slight exaggeration. But still, I’ve met quite a few doctors who act this way and I don’t like it one bit. Who do they think they are?! Why is his time more important than anyone else’s? This attitude gives the profession of medicine a bad face (and quite frankly, rubs me the wrong way).

“I would never act like that once I’m a doctor,” I had thought to myself. Then one day, about a month into medical school, I found myself complaining to a classmate about a required class on our schedule: “How dare they schedule that class on a Monday afternoon?!” Honestly, I can’t remember the class or even the subject. But I do know that it was lame and something that I had deemed a waste of my time. And I was pissed.

It was at this point that I realized that I was acting very similarly to those very physicians that I did not want to be like. How did this happen? I used to be such a nice person (well, at least I thought so)! The truth is, I know exactly what happened: Medical school happened. You see, we don’t have a lot of free time. In fact, our schedules are so busy that we are constantly being asked to make choices about our activities.

For example, “Should I go to powderpuff practice, go to Ob/gyn Interest Group, or study Biochem?” If I don’t go to practice, I may not make any friends in medical school, but if I don’t study Biochem, I may not make it through medical school anyway. If I don’t go to OBIG, I may not get a good residency! Such tough decisions!

A career in medicine involves making a lot of sacrifices. I’ve lost family time, friend time, personal hygiene time, hobby time, tv time, exercise time, relaxation time, blogging time (!), etc. all in the name of medicine. And I’m okay with it (mostly). I knew what I signed up for and I think (hope) becoming a physician and helping people will make it worth it.

What I’m not okay with is people wasting my time. Because I am constantly forced to make decisions between activities that I want to participate in, it is incredibly frustrating to make these sacrifices in order to do things that I don’t want to do, but have to. Medical school is filled with such activities. With time being such a precious commodity, I am acutely aware of how I would like to spend it. And when people waste my time, I get cranky. Suddenly, I find myself acting just like those physicians who I don’t want to be… and I’m only an MS1! Is “How Not to be an Asshole” covered in Clinical Foundations II?

on hold...

Love is in the air, my friends. Since medical school started, I have been to four weddings. In that same time, seven (SEVEN!!!) of my close friends or family (one was my brother) have become engaged. And these are just the people I’m close to; I’m not even including classmates (4 engagements, that I know of), or acquaintances (these numbers are staggering).

However, I'm nowhere near tying the knot. Before med school, everyone told me, “Don’t worry. You’ll find someone in medical school.” Now that I’m here, I’m not so sure. You see, dating in med school is not easy and even a little awkward.

First, you have to meet someone. This is easier said than done. Probably the biggest barrier to meeting new people is medical school. Or really, all of the studying I have to do to remain in medical school. Basically, I study all the time (this topic has already been extensively discussed). If I’m not studying, I’m doing some kind of extracurricular activity related to medical school (volunteering at Outreach Clinic, chauffeuring Buddhist monks around, etc). What I’m saying is I barely get the chance to interact with people outside of school (I actually tried to get my mom to pay for my membership at a fancy gym, claiming it was an investment in my future; my parents are desperate to marry me off. It didn’t work).

You’re probably thinking, “But once you finally do get out there, meeting people is easy. As a doctor in training, you should have decent people skills.” Wrong! First of all, let’s not make any assumptions about people skills. These days, holding a conversation about anything other than medicine, science, or studying is nearly impossible for me. For some reason, this makes it difficult to connect with people.

Forget about dating someone in my class. With all of this studying and learning, we spend all day, everyday with each other. And this will be the case for the next couple of years. On top of that, everyone knows everyone else’s business. No thanks, on the extra helping of drama.

So that leaves me alone, quickly approaching Advanced Maternal Age, a topic I’m well aware of thanks to Genetics, Physiology, and shadowing in Labor and Delivery. Trisomy 21, anyone?

Anatomy + Yoga = True Love

Taking Human Anatomy has changed my life. And now I’m going to write about it. Don’t worry, I won’t be writing about my powerful experiences with dead people. Instead, I’m going to discuss a much more important topic: yoga.

You see, I do a lot of yoga. Well, not a ton, maybe 3 or so classes a week. I find that it is a great way for me to exercise and reduce stress. Since I’m sure you’re dying to know, I prefer Vinyasa and Ashtanga yoga (with maybe a little Hatha yoga thrown in for good measure). Anyway, ever since Anatomy has started, my yoga practice has soared to new heights.

It started with a general increased self-awareness. After seeing muscles and bodies in the Anatomy Lab, I began to think more about my own muscles. As in I became aware that they actually existed. This might sound silly, but to me, muscles have been things that get bigger or stronger if I exercise or work on them. I had never really given much thought to them otherwise. Fine. I’ve always known they existed. But now I’m aware of their total existence as a network of muscles, with tendons, nerves, actions, antagonists. My body is a system, with multiple components. As I breathe and move from posture to posture, I am aware of that system, both in isolated segments and as a whole.

Next there came a translation and application phase. Simple phrases such as “rest on your Sit Bones” became instantly translated to technical terms: “Sit Bones, huh? Don’t you mean ischial tuberosities?!” As I tried to lift my leg, I thought, “Hmm… I think my iliopsoases are weak.” Just FYI: Iliopsoas – flexion of the hip, femoral nerve (iliacus) and L1, 2, and 3 (psoas major) (I know you were wondering).

In literally every posture, I could go through and name the muscles, nerves, arteries (okay, and veins, even though we all know those aren’t as exciting) involved in my movement. Isn’t this distracting, you ask? Not really. It’s not like I’m quizzing myself as I move through my yoga practice. Instead, I feel that in knowing these new details about my body, I’ve become more connected to it.

Now, instead of almost falling asleep during Final Relaxation, I go to a new place in my own body. As I lay on the floor, eyes closed, deeply breathing, I can feel the air enter my lungs. My heart is beating and I begin to imagine blood flowing through my arteries. I follow this path as I move deeper and deeper into relaxation.

another anatomy poem

What treasures do I

hold? Each day they peer into

me expectantly.

It is beautiful,

they say. Textbook example.

It's gorgeous, in fact.

What is it? I muse.

What could possibly be so

stunning about me?

I am just an old

woman. My stiff body is

tired and worn out.

At my age, beauty

is a distant memory.

A remnant of youth.

But they keep coming

back, continue to prod, dig.

Keep on exclaiming.

Now, I understand.

I am more than aged parts;

more than guts and bones.

It's as if every

time they look into me they

unlock a world of

knowledge. My nerves, veins,

tendons, muscles. Me. Inside

of me, beauty lives.