Nerd Alert!

The other day, my sister said to me: "Wow, med school has made you an even bigger dork than I thought possible."

WHAT?! Me? A dork? Nooo....

I mean, there might be a couple of things that I do that are kinda dorky (I guess).

But, who doesn't like wearing tie-dyed shirts with 10 cute kitties on them?!

And wearing Sketchers Shape-ups helps me tone my legs while I walk around campus (and imagine how great they'll be in the hospital during 3rd and 4th year... I see all the nurses wearing them now). Plus, I think they're funny.

As for wearing Thai Fisherman pants, those things are comfortable! Perfect for studying in.

Everyone likes a good science/medicine/anatomy reference thrown into a normal conversation. Especially non-science people. For example, I spent like 10 minutes on the phone with my Sis-T the other day explaining the Babinksi Reflex... and trying to get her to test her own. She pretty much loved this.

Meowing is totally normal. I know like dozens of people who do this.

Okay, fine. I'll give her the whole redhead thing. It is very true that the majority of gingers are fairly dorky. But I've had my red hair long before med school. So, really, if that's the measure of how dorky you are, I've been a big dork for years. Maybe med school is just enhancing it...

I'm an a**hole doctor.

Whoa! Whoa! Calm down, people! We all know that I’m not a doctor… yet. But, be warned now: there’s a good chance that when I do become one, I may also become kind of a jerk (as in, I could become a doctor who acts like an asshole, as opposed to a doctor who specializes in working with the anus).

Have you ever met a physician who acts like he is the most important person in the world and anyone/thing that may inconvenience or waste his time is the scum of the earth? Okay, that may be a slight exaggeration. But still, I’ve met quite a few doctors who act this way and I don’t like it one bit. Who do they think they are?! Why is his time more important than anyone else’s? This attitude gives the profession of medicine a bad face (and quite frankly, rubs me the wrong way).

“I would never act like that once I’m a doctor,” I had thought to myself. Then one day, about a month into medical school, I found myself complaining to a classmate about a required class on our schedule: “How dare they schedule that class on a Monday afternoon?!” Honestly, I can’t remember the class or even the subject. But I do know that it was lame and something that I had deemed a waste of my time. And I was pissed.

It was at this point that I realized that I was acting very similarly to those very physicians that I did not want to be like. How did this happen? I used to be such a nice person (well, at least I thought so)! The truth is, I know exactly what happened: Medical school happened. You see, we don’t have a lot of free time. In fact, our schedules are so busy that we are constantly being asked to make choices about our activities.

For example, “Should I go to powderpuff practice, go to Ob/gyn Interest Group, or study Biochem?” If I don’t go to practice, I may not make any friends in medical school, but if I don’t study Biochem, I may not make it through medical school anyway. If I don’t go to OBIG, I may not get a good residency! Such tough decisions!

A career in medicine involves making a lot of sacrifices. I’ve lost family time, friend time, personal hygiene time, hobby time, tv time, exercise time, relaxation time, blogging time (!), etc. all in the name of medicine. And I’m okay with it (mostly). I knew what I signed up for and I think (hope) becoming a physician and helping people will make it worth it.

What I’m not okay with is people wasting my time. Because I am constantly forced to make decisions between activities that I want to participate in, it is incredibly frustrating to make these sacrifices in order to do things that I don’t want to do, but have to. Medical school is filled with such activities. With time being such a precious commodity, I am acutely aware of how I would like to spend it. And when people waste my time, I get cranky. Suddenly, I find myself acting just like those physicians who I don’t want to be… and I’m only an MS1! Is “How Not to be an Asshole” covered in Clinical Foundations II?

In class: "Question."

I love it when somebody has a question during lecture and they wait with their hand in the air only to receive zero acknowledgement from the professor. No, okay. What I truly love is how people feel the need to say the word “Question” as they wait with their hand in the air. I mean, I get it. They need to get the professor’s attention. But still. It is so…. weird.

I guess it’s because I’ve never seen/heard anything like it before. I’ve gone to small schools pretty much my entire life. With a maximum class size of 30, there was almost zero chance of getting lost in the crowd. If anything, you had to be on your toes, because there was a pretty high chance of being called on randomly. The only exception to my history of small-scale education was studying abroad in Scotland; I guess the British are too polite to yell out “Question” in the middle of a lecture.

Things don’t just stop at the person who is asking the question. Sometimes, a “Good Samaritan” will feel the need to lend a helping hand (or voice) to a classmate otherwise silenced by a blind professor. “Question.” We hear from the back of the classroom (these “Helper Bees” are usually in the back, where they have a good view of the entire class). The lecturer stops midsentence, and scans the auditorium in the direction of the voice. The class turns to see the source of the Question. Meanwhile, someone sitting in a completely different part of the lecture hall is still holding her hand in the air. Finally, contact has been made between Lecturer and Helper. “Down there,” Helper responds, pointing to the student with her hand up.

The best part: when the question, which has now caused quite a disruption, is something like, “Will this be posted online?”

on hold...

Love is in the air, my friends. Since medical school started, I have been to four weddings. In that same time, seven (SEVEN!!!) of my close friends or family (one was my brother) have become engaged. And these are just the people I’m close to; I’m not even including classmates (4 engagements, that I know of), or acquaintances (these numbers are staggering).

However, I'm nowhere near tying the knot. Before med school, everyone told me, “Don’t worry. You’ll find someone in medical school.” Now that I’m here, I’m not so sure. You see, dating in med school is not easy and even a little awkward.

First, you have to meet someone. This is easier said than done. Probably the biggest barrier to meeting new people is medical school. Or really, all of the studying I have to do to remain in medical school. Basically, I study all the time (this topic has already been extensively discussed). If I’m not studying, I’m doing some kind of extracurricular activity related to medical school (volunteering at Outreach Clinic, chauffeuring Buddhist monks around, etc). What I’m saying is I barely get the chance to interact with people outside of school (I actually tried to get my mom to pay for my membership at a fancy gym, claiming it was an investment in my future; my parents are desperate to marry me off. It didn’t work).

You’re probably thinking, “But once you finally do get out there, meeting people is easy. As a doctor in training, you should have decent people skills.” Wrong! First of all, let’s not make any assumptions about people skills. These days, holding a conversation about anything other than medicine, science, or studying is nearly impossible for me. For some reason, this makes it difficult to connect with people.

Forget about dating someone in my class. With all of this studying and learning, we spend all day, everyday with each other. And this will be the case for the next couple of years. On top of that, everyone knows everyone else’s business. No thanks, on the extra helping of drama.

So that leaves me alone, quickly approaching Advanced Maternal Age, a topic I’m well aware of thanks to Genetics, Physiology, and shadowing in Labor and Delivery. Trisomy 21, anyone?

Anatomy + Yoga = True Love

Taking Human Anatomy has changed my life. And now I’m going to write about it. Don’t worry, I won’t be writing about my powerful experiences with dead people. Instead, I’m going to discuss a much more important topic: yoga.

You see, I do a lot of yoga. Well, not a ton, maybe 3 or so classes a week. I find that it is a great way for me to exercise and reduce stress. Since I’m sure you’re dying to know, I prefer Vinyasa and Ashtanga yoga (with maybe a little Hatha yoga thrown in for good measure). Anyway, ever since Anatomy has started, my yoga practice has soared to new heights.

It started with a general increased self-awareness. After seeing muscles and bodies in the Anatomy Lab, I began to think more about my own muscles. As in I became aware that they actually existed. This might sound silly, but to me, muscles have been things that get bigger or stronger if I exercise or work on them. I had never really given much thought to them otherwise. Fine. I’ve always known they existed. But now I’m aware of their total existence as a network of muscles, with tendons, nerves, actions, antagonists. My body is a system, with multiple components. As I breathe and move from posture to posture, I am aware of that system, both in isolated segments and as a whole.

Next there came a translation and application phase. Simple phrases such as “rest on your Sit Bones” became instantly translated to technical terms: “Sit Bones, huh? Don’t you mean ischial tuberosities?!” As I tried to lift my leg, I thought, “Hmm… I think my iliopsoases are weak.” Just FYI: Iliopsoas – flexion of the hip, femoral nerve (iliacus) and L1, 2, and 3 (psoas major) (I know you were wondering).

In literally every posture, I could go through and name the muscles, nerves, arteries (okay, and veins, even though we all know those aren’t as exciting) involved in my movement. Isn’t this distracting, you ask? Not really. It’s not like I’m quizzing myself as I move through my yoga practice. Instead, I feel that in knowing these new details about my body, I’ve become more connected to it.

Now, instead of almost falling asleep during Final Relaxation, I go to a new place in my own body. As I lay on the floor, eyes closed, deeply breathing, I can feel the air enter my lungs. My heart is beating and I begin to imagine blood flowing through my arteries. I follow this path as I move deeper and deeper into relaxation.

another anatomy poem

What treasures do I

hold? Each day they peer into

me expectantly.

It is beautiful,

they say. Textbook example.

It's gorgeous, in fact.

What is it? I muse.

What could possibly be so

stunning about me?

I am just an old

woman. My stiff body is

tired and worn out.

At my age, beauty

is a distant memory.

A remnant of youth.

But they keep coming

back, continue to prod, dig.

Keep on exclaiming.

Now, I understand.

I am more than aged parts;

more than guts and bones.

It's as if every

time they look into me they

unlock a world of

knowledge. My nerves, veins,

tendons, muscles. Me. Inside

of me, beauty lives.

How to pick up boys

I recently took a trip to Las Vegas for Spring Break (yup, I'm totally Livin' the Dream as a med student these days). In addition to the good times dancing, drinking, eating, (not) sleeping that Vegas usually provides, I came back from this trip with a new valuable skill: I learned how to pick up boys. Okay, so I haven't actually practiced this skill (at 27 years old, I don't want to jump into things), but I had the honor of observing the Masters at work one day at the pool.

Here are some fool-proof tips that should help any girl find love in Sin City:

1) Get a good spray tan. If you plan on spending all day poolside (umm... it's Vegas), you better be prepared with a toned/tanned body. Or at least have a tan... which can make up for lack of tone. But remember! Don't forget the sunscreen! A sunburn out at the club later that night looks pretty lame.

2) Start drinking early. My mentors had been hitting their water bottles of redbull-vodka since at least 10am... if not earlier. Definitely makes you look "fun" and "spontaneous" and can help take the edge off if you're feeling a little nervous about your people skills. If you're feeling cheap or don't have your own source of booze, just walk up to the bar, find some middle-aged guys and make them buy you shots. They'll do it, I promise... especially if you have a good spray tan.

3) Play games. Here are some of my favorites:

• "Oh my god, you guys! Guess our names!" (perfect if you're in a group... can keep conversation going for minutes... just imagine how many names are out there!).
• "Guess which ones of us have boyfriends!"
• "So if you had to choose... which one of us do you think would get married first?"

4) Stake a claim. If a certain boy has caught your eye, let everyone know by trading sunglasses with him. Don't know how to initiate the trade? Here's a good ice-breaker: "OMG I love your glasses! Let's switch!" (and then you hand out yours and/or grab his). This will also make the boy feel special because you liked his glasses and/or because you're paying attention to him.

5) Make him work for it. If it's been hours at the pool and you're pretty sure but not positive that he's into you, try a little test: make him do something for you. For example, you could throw your camera into the ice-cold pool and make him fish it out ASAP so it doesn't get "ruined" (he doesn't need to know it's a waterproof camera).

6) Get "married" at the pool. Great play on the Vegas wedding concept. Pick your favorite boy and have a fake wedding complete with bridesmaids/groomsmen and speeches. If you really want to commit to the idea, you should friend him on fb and announce your marriage... like that same day.

7) Make evening plans. Eventually, the pool is going to close and you're going to have to go back to the room and get ready for the evening. At some point in the day, exchange numbers. Then, that night while at dinner text the shit out of him. I mean... umm... get your text-flirt on and keep mentioning how badly you want to meet up.

8) Late-night meet-up. FINALLY! The time has come for you to reunite with your love after an excruciatingly long separation during dinner and the evenings activities! If you're staying in the same hotel, meet in the lobby or something. This way you can "gamble" for like 10 minutes and then go back to one of your rooms. SUCCESS!!

Now, a note of caution about going back to someone's room... or bringing them back to your own: ACT FAST! If there are a bunch of you staying in one room, then inevitably, somebody will get to the room first and everyone else will be left homeless (and, more importantly, without a good place to hook up... luckily for me, this isn't too big of a problem; I went to boarding school where I learned to be very creative). If you have slutty friends, then they will box you out of your own room and you will be left roaming the casino/hotel/Vegas strip drunkenly snuggling with your new lover... until like 6am. So seriously. Don't screw around pretending like you want to do anything other than going back to the room. GO STRAIGHT THERE!! Also, don't worry about safety. It's Vegas; everyone is totally trustworthy and only has the best intentions.