The Embrace

First day jitters.

We enter the room

anxiety, excitement,

formaldehyde in the air.

Act cool,

nobody wants to be the one who barfs.

It all happens so fast.

We pair up, position ourselves around a table

with a white-cloaked mass on it.

We confidently remove the cover, lift back the cheesecloth.

Let's do this.

Step 1: roll your cadaver over.

Huh.

"Umm...

Okay, I watched the video. Let's turn him over like a

real patient."

For a few moments, we circle around

trying to gain strategic positioning.

We scoot him to the edge of the table,

roll him on his side.

There are four of us

but he's so heavy!

At 93, he was no frail man.

We can't flip him over; his arm is stuck.

(Oh God, what if it breaks off?)

Suddenly, my arms are around him, lifting.

My chest is against his,

his free arm is inches from my face.

Despite scrubs, lab coat, and gloves,

his cold, yellow skin touches my wrist.

And now that he's over,

lying comfortably on his stomach,

relief rushes over me.

I can do this, I thought,

I just hugged a dead guy!

And so we begin.

Brush 'em! (or not)

Move over gingivitus, there's a new player in town wreaking havoc on the gums of healthy young adults across America. Who is this sinister character causing widespread gum recession, you may ask? The answer may SHOCK you. It is... harsh brushing!

That's right my friends, overly exuberant brushing, particularly in a horizontal motion, can cause gum recession in an otherwise healthy mouth. This is a serious matter, because your gums don't really grow back! And, though this may not be at all surprising, your teeth really need gums! Currently, the main way to repair gum recession is through gingival grafting (taking gum tissue from nearby or the roof of your mouth and covering the recession). Sounds intense!

I bring the important issue of overactive brushing up, because it has recently come to my attention that many of my friends (and myself) experience this problem - and have been told so by dentists.

Umm... of course we're aggressive brushers! We're med students, over-achievers to the max! We've been brushing our little hearts out to make sure our teeth were perfectly clean since we could hold a mini toothbrush in our tiny hands. When we were younger, the dentists praised us for our efforts: "My, what a great job you're doing brushing your teeth! Go get a toy from The Drawer." Positive reinforcement? I live for that stuff! (I'm not joking. When I had my braces, I got a "Best Patient" award from the orthodontist... which I'm sure they give like 90% of their patients... and I was thrilled. I was also 11).

I bet the dentists, praying kids would brush their teeth at least once a week, didn't see this coming. Now they have to put gum grafts in the mouths of all those over-achieving med students out there.

Alert!

Dear Facebook,

I love you, but you kind of kill me sometimes. Okay, it might not be you; it could be me. You see, this is what happens: Sometimes I get excited and comment on or "like" another person's wall post or status update or picture or whatever. And then, like forty other people also decide they need to comment and then fb feels the need to send a message to my phone every single time.

I know what you're going to say, fb. You're going to say, "Change your settings and this problem could easily be avoided." The thing is, sometimes it's good to be in the know. Have you ever come across an untagged pic of you with an entire conversation about you by your friends? Or happened across a Wall-to-Wall with you as the main subject? It's... uncomfortable. And creepy.

So what I'm saying is: Generally, I like knowing what's going on on fb, but I kind of hate it when I get a bunch of messages on my phone about randoms responding to my comment/picture/post/whatever.

Okay, maybe what I'm really saying is: Who knew that every time my mom updates her status (and yes, this does actually happen) every single one of her friends feels the need to comment on it? None of my friends do that...

Sincerely,

j

Boat Parade!!!!

You guys!!! I went to the Newport Beach Christmas Boat Parade tonight and it was BOMB. Seriously. I'm pretty jazzed... STILL (the parade was like 4 hours ago).

There's something about cheesy events/activities that really gets me excited. People went all out on their boats at this parade. One boat had live singers. Another had a big movie spotlight thingy (technical term). There was even a waterskiing reindeer! The boats are so over-the-top it put a huge smile on my face.

And NOW, 4 hours later, I'm having a dance party to Madonna alone in my room. (And yes, I interrupted the dance party to write this post... and yes, Madonna is still playing). That's how good this parade was.

New Moon

Hey guys! Remember me?? I used to blog about my uber exciting life. Then I went to med school and have pretty much dropped off the face of the planet. Sorry about that. It's just that med school is actually kind of hard and keeps me pretty busy.

For example, med school forced me to see the 12:30 am showing of The Twilight Saga: New Moon last night. I was like, "I don't know, med school... that doesn't seem like the responsible thing to do." And then med school was like, "Um, yes it is. Trust me, you will not regret it. Good doctors go to see midnight showings of teeny bopper movies on opening night all the time! In fact, it is a prerequisite to becoming a good doctor." So I gave in and went to the movie.*

And it was AWESOME!!!! I was literally giddy while we were waiting in line before the movie. I skipped into the theater with glee! When Edward appeared, I squealed with delight. When Jacob took off his shirt for the first time (and then pretty much kept it off for the rest of the movie), I swooned. The sexual tension was delicious. Vampires and werewolves have never been so hot. So what if I didn't get home until 3:30 in the morning and I had class at 10? Who cares if I've been shaky and weak (and mildly retarded) all day from lack of sleep? It was TOTALLY WORTH IT.

I'm sure you're dying to know if I'm on Team Jacob or Team Edward. I'm not going to lie: after last night's feast for the eyes, I'm tempted to join Team Jacob (Taylor Lautner is HOT... so what if he's 17?). But being the Twilight fan that I am (and having read the books), I'm going to stick with Team Edward for now. But let's be honest, if this contest were based on who looks better shirtless (which might actually be the case), Taylor wins hands down - sorry Rob!

In case you got bogged down with the details of New Moon (or totally turned on by the pictures of young men with their shirts off), here is a summary of what I'm trying to say:

1) Med school is busy. Sorry for not blogging more often.

2) Even though I'm dangerously close to the "bitter years" of being 27, I saw New Moon on opening night.

3) I enjoy watching teenage boys pretend to be vampires and werewolves, especially when they are barely clothed.

*Okay, truth be told, med school did NOT convince me to see New Moon. It was my idea. And then I convinced 11 other med students to join me.

Hooked Up.

I have a problem and it's kind of weird and random: I am constantly getting hooked up with free coffee.

"WTF?!" you may scoff, "Wow, J, you lead such a difficult life full of challenges!"

But seriously, getting hooked up with free coffee is a big problem for me. And it happens all the time. Here's the thing: if I wanted a cup of caffeinated drink the size of my head, I would have ordered one. I am not ordering a small or a medium because I'm too cheap to order the large! I am ordering that size because that is the volume of beverage I would like to consume.

Of course, if someone hooks me up with a Big-Gulp size of iced coffee, I'm going to drink it. And then I'm going to be sick. This is no exaggeration. Once, I ordered an Iced Dunkaccino from Dunkin' Donuts (a mistake in and of itself - too much sugar!) and the guy hooked me up with a giant size. Several hours (and, admittedly, some munchkins) later, I puked at my sister's graduation dinner. Actually, it wasn't quite at the dinner; I managed to run outside and puke on the side of the building instead. Bottom line: that damn giant Dunkaccino made me sick!!

Last week, the guys at Starbiz gave me a large (or, excuse me, Venti? I wouldn't even know, because I never order that size) iced coffee. It took me like 3 hours to finish it and I ended up walking into a biochem review session twitching from caffeine overload.

And today, I got the biggest hookup of them all! At the Bean, I ordered a medium iced tea. In case any of you are wondering (and I know you were), my order is half Swedish Berries and half Japanese Cherry or Strawberry Cream Green Tea. This drink is BOMB (that's right, I said it was bomb. In 2009. I'm bringing "bomb" back). It also makes you feel special because it's like a secret combo or something... kind of like ordering "animal style" from In-N-Out.

Anyway, I ordered a medium and the guy makes me a large. Totally not surprising to me given my tendency to get hooked up with these things. Then, he full-on pours ANOTHER drink, looks me in the eye and goes, "Whoops! I made two! Do you want the other one, too?" Are you kidding me?! I ended up turning him down, which was kind of tough since he put up a fight. But seriously, I don't think I could have physically fit that much liquid in my body. And I was really only ordering a drink to be polite about setting up camp and studying there for a while; I wasn't even thirsty!

So here's my point: Even though it seems like it would be super sweet to constantly be given extra caffeinated drinks for free, it really is a burden and often leads to me puking on the side of a building (and by "often," I mean, once). It also makes me wonder why I'm getting these hookups. Do I look super tired (euphemism for crappy) and in need of caffeine? Or is it that I'm just so unbelievably cute and nice that people (it's always boy baristas, now that I think of it) can't help but want to hook me up? I'd like to think it's the latter. Sadly, it's probably the former.

Say Anything

Last night I watched Say Anything:

1. Say Anything might be my favorite '80s teen movie.

a. My other favorite '80s teen movie is Sixteen Candles.

i. Molly Ringwald may or may not be a natural redhead, but she rocked the ginger look for a while, so I've always liked her.

b. Breakfast Club is good, too.

2. John Cusack was super cute in 1989.

a. I totally would have made out with him.

b. Unfortunately, he did not age very well.

i. Still love him, though.

3. Loved loved LOVED the late '80s style!

a. Fluffy hair, yes please!

i. My hair was born for that look.

b. Hey John Cusack, nice trench coat.

4. Kickboxing IS the sport of the future.

5. This movie made me wish I were dating a boy like Lloyd Dobler. Or any boy.

a. Could someone please make out with me?

i. I am pathetic.

6. The scene where Lloyd stands outside of Diane's window, holding a boombox over his head, playing their "song" is kind of overrated.

a. Also overrated is The Usual Suspects, which we watched before Say Anything.

i. "Oooh! Who is Keyser Soze?" Turns out once you know, the movie is pretty boring.

7. I've been working on an outline on Amino Acid Metabolism all night and I've become a little too attached to outline format.